I didn’t sleep well at all last night. I ended up spending the time rehearsing what I was going to say to my Dr. today. I am going in to talk to him after I asked to stop something he had me do. I know my Dr. will want to know why, rightly so, I just am struggling with how to tell him that I don’t feel comfortable with it because I think (no, I know) God is making me uncomfortable with it. He is going to think I am nuts.

How do you bring a strong conviction into a nonconvitction based world? I live by prayer, a lot of little prayers that consist of “show, tell, help, and move me to where You want me to be”. This is not something that you get by reading and studying alone, those things help, but in the end it is His peace that I look for. God made me from dust so I know that He understands I am really slow at times to get the hint unless I am not comfortable in how I feel. So to move me to where I need to be He makes me REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE.

All night long I walked through the visit, telling my Dr.how I felt about all of this and imagining his face as he didn’t understand or like my reasons. By early this morning I was convinced there would be no good way to talk this one out.

Finally I turned to God. If God made me so uncomfortable with this then I would leave it in His more than capable hands to help me explain it. That is so much easier said than done (I promptly let God know that one as well).

When I got to the appointment I knew God was there with me as soon as I walked in. My mind became clear and God helped me explain my convictions and reasons. I am smiling as I write this because I have had this happen so many times you would think that I would just know this by now. (NOT LOL). I have a quote that I say to my kids (and friends) “God never gives us more than we with His help can handle, and that help comes when we need it, not a moment before nor a moment after”. I guess I need to be saying that to myself a whole lot more.