Well one Holiday down, one to go. I knew that this year seemed to be heading toward a harder year for depression, grief and emotional chaos, I just did not put it all together that it would be as hard as it has been. I don’t think I have felt this much like an emotional basket case in …. well… since I can’t remember. So I guess Titus will have to let you know about that one.
I find it interesting how good things that bring with them wonderful, excited emotions can mix with the other side of it taking the “bad” things that bring heartache, frustration, pulling of the hair, not to mention no patience and leave me with a crazy cauldron of – boiling hot & icy cold emotions. A carnival house of mirrors where your emotion changes from one weird version to the next leaving you baffled as ever. I want to scream most of the time, begging “just PLEASE let me get off this ride”. I am praying this particular run is for a short time only and will subside again with the new year. Or at least I am seriously hoping.
I do realize that this is Menopause I am dealing with and there are NO guarantees with Menopause, only wishes, very strong wishes and even stronger prayers. I also know that WITH GOD’S HELP I can make it through this messed up “season” as well. Knowing all that helps, really it does. Though unfortunately this does not mean I don’t see the dark forest of provocation in front of me. It is difficult some mornings to not just roll over in bed and say to myself “Ah, let’s just skip this one”. I have set goals, some for me, some for others and these are what are keeping my feet moving. That and God’s gentle helping ‘yank’.
I think am going to keep this as my motto:
2 Corinthians 4: 17-18 “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”
One day at a time, one step at a time. Right Father?
Suddenly Fifty 